I had my follow up appointment after my MRI yesterday, and great news - no tumours! I have to say, I thought about correcting the Dr when he said my brain was "normal"... I mean, really, there must be synapses communicating like crazy in there - surely my brain is better than normal LOL! He was a little taken aback when I asked for a picture of the MRI - and I'm not totally sure what I'll do with it anyway, but for some reason, i think it would be cool to have. Especially in the absence of tumours :)
Bad news is that they still have no idea what caused my hearing loss, and really the only thing they can do is screw some sort of hearing aid into my head, which would send the sound into my left (good) ear... I'm not too keen on that, and it won't stop the ringing anyway, so since I think I'm pretty well adjusted, i'm going with status quo. Besides, it is nice to sometimes put the people I don't want to hear on my right so I can ignore them with a good excuse...
I'll go back in a year for another hearing test but other than that, life goes on. And I can sleep well now, knowing that I have no tumours!!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Hearing update
It's been almost 4 months since I lost my hearing in one ear, and I can honestly say that it isn't stopping me from doing most things at all! There's the odd time that the ringing gets really loud or high-pitched, and I cant' focus, but it seems to happen less and less. Sometimes I'm even able to tune out the ringing altogether.
My hearing has gotten marginally better, too - at very low frequency, I can hear tones at lower decibels. In fact, I'm in the moderate hearing loss range at certain frequencies - so things like a Harley Davidson motor, I can hear at a farther distance now. So that's good! You never know - maybe it will continue to improve! The stranges part of my hearing test is that words, although they are loud and "clear" in my right ear, sound like complete gibberish. I cannot make out what people are saying at all, even when they're yelling into my ear. So that's kind of an odd sensation.
I finally have my MRI scheduled - it's happening next weekend, so keep your fingers crossed that either they find nothing or they find something that is super easy to fix and give my hearing back fully! I'm not going to lie, the waiting has been killing me. I have had several sleepless nights and nightmares about there actually being something wrong - but really, I'm sure there isn't. I will just be glad to get it over with. My MRI follow up is Wednesday the 25th, so stay tuned for an update after that!
My hearing has gotten marginally better, too - at very low frequency, I can hear tones at lower decibels. In fact, I'm in the moderate hearing loss range at certain frequencies - so things like a Harley Davidson motor, I can hear at a farther distance now. So that's good! You never know - maybe it will continue to improve! The stranges part of my hearing test is that words, although they are loud and "clear" in my right ear, sound like complete gibberish. I cannot make out what people are saying at all, even when they're yelling into my ear. So that's kind of an odd sensation.
I finally have my MRI scheduled - it's happening next weekend, so keep your fingers crossed that either they find nothing or they find something that is super easy to fix and give my hearing back fully! I'm not going to lie, the waiting has been killing me. I have had several sleepless nights and nightmares about there actually being something wrong - but really, I'm sure there isn't. I will just be glad to get it over with. My MRI follow up is Wednesday the 25th, so stay tuned for an update after that!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Severe!!!
So, lots has happened since my last post. I have moved into my house, painted almost every room, almost finished unpacking, and progressed from Profound to Severe!!!
I had my second hearing test on August 26th. Sorry no photos from this one! Same drill - the beeps and the whooshing sound and then voices. As I sat through it, saying "yes" every time I heard the beep, I was absolutely positive that I was hearing much more than in my first hearing test. When we got to the words, it was a little strange - I could hear her speaking very loudly but I couldn't understand a single word. It was a strange and very frustrating sensation - she was telling me just to say what I thought I heard, and out of ten words, I thought I might have gotten 2-3 right. Turns out I had them all wrong...
But on a positive note, when I sat down with the Specialist afterwards, he reviewed the hearing test and I showed him my first one. I asked "have I improved?" and he said actually, yes - quite a bit! Then I asked if I now fit in the "severe" category of hearing loss and he said yes I would. Yay!!! I let out a little cheer and he laughed at me. He's apparently never seen anyone excited to be severely deaf in one ear. I knew it had gotten better, though, so this just proved that my positive thinking has helped.
With that said, the Doctor doesn't think it will get any better but does want to run a few more tests - I'm still waiting for the MRI, and now I have to get blood work done too. Foranyone who doesn't know me well, this is probably my hugest fear. I am completely terrified of needles. I can't even see one on TV without breaking out in a cold sweat. To think that they will be sticking me with one and drawing blood out... ewww... not sure about this. But I will do it. Just have to procrastinate a little but I'll get around to it.
So that's all that's new on the ear-front.
As for the move, it went well but was a huge amount of work. I'm not going to lie - the people whose house I bought left it quite dirty. Thank god for Merry Maid! Even they were a little survprised at the grime in the kitchen and baths though! Anyways, once we got through that, we started painting. My mom has been amazing through this. She helped me paint almost every single room in the house. It looks like a new place altogether. I love the colours that I chose (with the help of Josette - if anyone is looking for an interior decorator, let me know). I only have 2 bathrooms and a hallway left to do. It's been a lot of work but well worth it! This house now feels like my home. My dog Piper loves it, too - she's getting 3-4 walks every day, at least one of them including some play time with the pooches at the dog park nearby. My neighbours are great, the commute is much shorter, and although the backyard is small, it's perfect for sitting out, working on my laptop or reading a book with a glass of wine.
So all in all, I've had a splendid couple of weeks. What a great word - splendid!
I had my second hearing test on August 26th. Sorry no photos from this one! Same drill - the beeps and the whooshing sound and then voices. As I sat through it, saying "yes" every time I heard the beep, I was absolutely positive that I was hearing much more than in my first hearing test. When we got to the words, it was a little strange - I could hear her speaking very loudly but I couldn't understand a single word. It was a strange and very frustrating sensation - she was telling me just to say what I thought I heard, and out of ten words, I thought I might have gotten 2-3 right. Turns out I had them all wrong...
But on a positive note, when I sat down with the Specialist afterwards, he reviewed the hearing test and I showed him my first one. I asked "have I improved?" and he said actually, yes - quite a bit! Then I asked if I now fit in the "severe" category of hearing loss and he said yes I would. Yay!!! I let out a little cheer and he laughed at me. He's apparently never seen anyone excited to be severely deaf in one ear. I knew it had gotten better, though, so this just proved that my positive thinking has helped.
With that said, the Doctor doesn't think it will get any better but does want to run a few more tests - I'm still waiting for the MRI, and now I have to get blood work done too. Foranyone who doesn't know me well, this is probably my hugest fear. I am completely terrified of needles. I can't even see one on TV without breaking out in a cold sweat. To think that they will be sticking me with one and drawing blood out... ewww... not sure about this. But I will do it. Just have to procrastinate a little but I'll get around to it.
So that's all that's new on the ear-front.
As for the move, it went well but was a huge amount of work. I'm not going to lie - the people whose house I bought left it quite dirty. Thank god for Merry Maid! Even they were a little survprised at the grime in the kitchen and baths though! Anyways, once we got through that, we started painting. My mom has been amazing through this. She helped me paint almost every single room in the house. It looks like a new place altogether. I love the colours that I chose (with the help of Josette - if anyone is looking for an interior decorator, let me know). I only have 2 bathrooms and a hallway left to do. It's been a lot of work but well worth it! This house now feels like my home. My dog Piper loves it, too - she's getting 3-4 walks every day, at least one of them including some play time with the pooches at the dog park nearby. My neighbours are great, the commute is much shorter, and although the backyard is small, it's perfect for sitting out, working on my laptop or reading a book with a glass of wine.
So all in all, I've had a splendid couple of weeks. What a great word - splendid!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
I know what profound is!
I had my 2nd Specialist appointment on Wednesday, with a different specialist. Basically, he agreed with the other Specialist that the hearing loss was viral, but he gave it a name - labryinthitis. It's nice to have a name - and it's quite an exotic one, at that! No cause - just a random virus causes it. I asked about whether a hearing aid will help, but the only hearing aids for this just route sound into my good ear, or have to be screwed into my head (yikes) and I think I'm pretty well adjusted to need that. He was very impressed with my balance, and said that most people with such profound hearing loss are unable to do most of the things he had me do. Yay me! I asked about the Tinnitus (ringing), and he explained that my brain should get used to it and tune it out more so that it will start to sound much quieter over time. Looking forward to that!! I'm going back for a new hearing test on Wednesday, because I told him I believe it has gotten better over the past few days - I explained the phone test to him, and how I could make out that there are words being said etc. I think he thought I was a little crazy but he does want to see if my hearing is still "Profound".
By the way, I have found out what Profound Hearing Loss is. Basically it means that I cannot hear sounds less than 95 dB. According to the web, that means I should be able to hear:
By the way, I have found out what Profound Hearing Loss is. Basically it means that I cannot hear sounds less than 95 dB. According to the web, that means I should be able to hear:
- Boeing 737 or DC-9 aircraft at one nautical mile (6080 ft) before landing . . . 97 dB
- Power mower . . . 96 dB
- Rock band . . . 108 - 114 dB
(which all makes me wonder how flippin' loud my phone is!!!)
But not:
- Motorcycle at 25 ft . . . 90 dB
- Propeller plane flyover at 1000 ft . . . 88 dB
- Diesel train 45 mph at 100 ft . . . 83 dB - This is great by the way, since I live (until next week) about a block away from train tracks and occasionally would hear them at night if my window was open - now I just turn over!
- Food blender . . . 88 dB
- Garbage disposal . . . 80 dB
So at least I can explain to people what this all means. Although I do hope that the hearing test next week puts me into the Severe category instead of Profound... this would mean that I can hear sounds from 70-95... then I might be able to hear a Passenger car going 65 mph at 25 ft . . . 77 dB or High urban ambient sound . . . 80 dB (not sure what this is but I think I want to hear it in two ears!)
So as for developments with the ear, that's pretty much it - he also said I need an MRI and will try to get me one at St Joes, since I've now been waiting more than 3 weeks to even get an appointment scheduled at St Michaels (by the way, I called 2 more times this week to follow up).
As for life, work has been busy - but I really am not letting it get to me. I put my out of office reply on my email for 3pm on Friday - so I am officially on vacation! Which means I better get packing... not ready for my move yet! But I'm very excited to be getting into my new house in Oakville - the drive to Vaughan from Hamilton this week was pretty bad - in my last two days, between the Skyway closure, the crazy storm, and an accident on the QEW, my hour-long commute took me an average of 1 hr 45min. But I just kept telling myself this was the last week I would ever have to do this commute.
On other house news - we went for a final viewing on Thursday night, and the sellers are very much packed and hoping to be out of there early Monday (yay!). And I brought a designer, Josette from JAG interiors, who came up with some great unique ideas as far as room set up and colours. I definitely have a great vision to make the house a home now.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Were those actual words I heard???
I've been off the drugs for several days now, and 80% of me had resigned myself to the fact that my hearing is not coming back and I have really gotten used to it. Not too many issues and I know that I'm still very lucky to be healthy other than this one little ear. But that other 20% of me has been quietly hoping and wishing for noises to suddenly get through... So every morning, I still do my phone test to see if I can hear anything other than the buttons being pressed. Up until Sunday night, there was still nothing.
BUT... Sunday night as I was laying in bed, unable to sleep, I thought I'd try the phone test again. I swear that I could make out actual words when my voicemail picked up. I was so excited, I hung up the phone and frantically tried calling my sister and mom, so that I could test out a real voice on the phone. I got my mom - surely she was totally worried when her phone was ringing so late at night - she probably thought I was having a vertigo attack again or something. But I said "Mom I think I can hear a little" and she was perhaps more excited than me (ok not possible but she was happy!). I got her to talk and put the phone to my right ear. And seriously, I could just make out words as she spoke! I truly think that 20% that it was positive thinking that made this happen. So now the test will be twice daily. So far, as of Tuesday night, I can still just make out words on my home phone. On my cell, I can't - it must be a lower frequency or something. But I will continue to try and think positively about it. You never know!
I also have an appointment with a Hamilton specialist tomorrow. Perhaps he will have a different diagnosis or treatment that works. Once again, positive thoughts.
On a "new reality" note, I was out in restaurants all day today in various meetings, and I found it much easier to carry on a conversation even with lots of noise around. So on the glass half empty side, if the hearing doesn't improve, I can handle it. (hmm. that sounds almost like a glass half full... not good at glass empty...) Give me a few more weeks and I'll be ready to hit the dance floor.
I just think that as long as you keep things in perspective, you really can get through anything.
BUT... Sunday night as I was laying in bed, unable to sleep, I thought I'd try the phone test again. I swear that I could make out actual words when my voicemail picked up. I was so excited, I hung up the phone and frantically tried calling my sister and mom, so that I could test out a real voice on the phone. I got my mom - surely she was totally worried when her phone was ringing so late at night - she probably thought I was having a vertigo attack again or something. But I said "Mom I think I can hear a little" and she was perhaps more excited than me (ok not possible but she was happy!). I got her to talk and put the phone to my right ear. And seriously, I could just make out words as she spoke! I truly think that 20% that it was positive thinking that made this happen. So now the test will be twice daily. So far, as of Tuesday night, I can still just make out words on my home phone. On my cell, I can't - it must be a lower frequency or something. But I will continue to try and think positively about it. You never know!
I also have an appointment with a Hamilton specialist tomorrow. Perhaps he will have a different diagnosis or treatment that works. Once again, positive thoughts.
On a "new reality" note, I was out in restaurants all day today in various meetings, and I found it much easier to carry on a conversation even with lots of noise around. So on the glass half empty side, if the hearing doesn't improve, I can handle it. (hmm. that sounds almost like a glass half full... not good at glass empty...) Give me a few more weeks and I'll be ready to hit the dance floor.
I just think that as long as you keep things in perspective, you really can get through anything.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
One more day of drugs...
It's been 2 weeks since I started the prednisone to try to bring my hearing back... and no real change... I'm sure there are cases where the hearing randomly comes back at some point in the future, so perhaps that can still happen.
I've got an appointment with another specialist next week, so fingers crossed that perhaps he has some other magic to work for me.
I still haven't heard from the MRI clinic. I've got to assume that must be because the Doctors really don't think that there's anything other than a freak ear thing going on, so I'm not worrying. Really, not worrying, I tell myself.
I'm hoping that after the drugs are done, I won't get such bad headaches. They feel like no headache I've ever had before - half of my head just feels like it's trying to split away from the other half. Yesterday was the worst one yet - I couldn't focus on what I was working on and had to actually stop and lay down for a few hours, not looking at anything and trying not to think at all. I did feel quite a bit better today, maybe because it was only a 2 pill day! Thank goodness!
One more day... then hopefully I'll feel more "normal" (not that I've ever really been normal!).
Positive thoughts everyone! Thoughts about beautiful sounds that have no resemblance to ringing at all, and a relaxed head with no pain or pressure... feathers and bubbles... feathers and bubbles...
I've got an appointment with another specialist next week, so fingers crossed that perhaps he has some other magic to work for me.
I still haven't heard from the MRI clinic. I've got to assume that must be because the Doctors really don't think that there's anything other than a freak ear thing going on, so I'm not worrying. Really, not worrying, I tell myself.
I'm hoping that after the drugs are done, I won't get such bad headaches. They feel like no headache I've ever had before - half of my head just feels like it's trying to split away from the other half. Yesterday was the worst one yet - I couldn't focus on what I was working on and had to actually stop and lay down for a few hours, not looking at anything and trying not to think at all. I did feel quite a bit better today, maybe because it was only a 2 pill day! Thank goodness!
One more day... then hopefully I'll feel more "normal" (not that I've ever really been normal!).
Positive thoughts everyone! Thoughts about beautiful sounds that have no resemblance to ringing at all, and a relaxed head with no pain or pressure... feathers and bubbles... feathers and bubbles...
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
3rd week and Seinfeld would have fun with me
This week has been much better at work so far. I've been able to last full days and although I'm exhausted by the end, I'm actually being productive too.
The newest strange phenomenon is my seemingly incessant need to tell people I'm speaking to that I can't hear from my left ear. because I really need to concentrate on what people are saying, and watch then talk so that I can really hear them, I am always worried that they're thinking "what's up with this crazy stalker chick". I think I could be on a Seinfeld episode as a "concentrated talker" or something.
So I end up blurting out that "I'm deaf in this ear", and then making jokes about it. More than likely, people feel somewhat uncomfortable with this, and unsure whether I'm joking or not because I try to make light of it, so then I get serious and say "really, I suddenly went deaf in this ear a couple of weeks ago so I apologize if I'm listening to you oddly". Then I usually get into a rant about how if they ever get ringing or deafness in their ears, they should insist on seeing a specialist. I'm positive that these people think I'm completely crazy by this time, so then I try not to make it apparent that I'm concentrating so hard on our conversation and I end up missing half of what they say. I will figure this out soon and come up with a new strategy!
By the way, once again, I've been unimpressed by our medical system. When I was at my ENT appointment on the 31st of July, they told me they would be scheduling me for an MRI within the next couple of weeks, and that they would call with the time. Because I hadn't heard anything by Monday, I called to inquire and the MRI clinic had not received a request yet... so I followed up with the ENT clinic and they said the would "re-fax" the paperwork. if I don't hear anything in 2 weeks the I am to call back again. (GRRRRR) It is completely frustrating to have no control over things that affect you so much personally.
So, next steps for me: new coping strategy for conversations, without having to relay my whole story to everyone I speak to, and MRI follow up...
The newest strange phenomenon is my seemingly incessant need to tell people I'm speaking to that I can't hear from my left ear. because I really need to concentrate on what people are saying, and watch then talk so that I can really hear them, I am always worried that they're thinking "what's up with this crazy stalker chick". I think I could be on a Seinfeld episode as a "concentrated talker" or something.
So I end up blurting out that "I'm deaf in this ear", and then making jokes about it. More than likely, people feel somewhat uncomfortable with this, and unsure whether I'm joking or not because I try to make light of it, so then I get serious and say "really, I suddenly went deaf in this ear a couple of weeks ago so I apologize if I'm listening to you oddly". Then I usually get into a rant about how if they ever get ringing or deafness in their ears, they should insist on seeing a specialist. I'm positive that these people think I'm completely crazy by this time, so then I try not to make it apparent that I'm concentrating so hard on our conversation and I end up missing half of what they say. I will figure this out soon and come up with a new strategy!
By the way, once again, I've been unimpressed by our medical system. When I was at my ENT appointment on the 31st of July, they told me they would be scheduling me for an MRI within the next couple of weeks, and that they would call with the time. Because I hadn't heard anything by Monday, I called to inquire and the MRI clinic had not received a request yet... so I followed up with the ENT clinic and they said the would "re-fax" the paperwork. if I don't hear anything in 2 weeks the I am to call back again. (GRRRRR) It is completely frustrating to have no control over things that affect you so much personally.
So, next steps for me: new coping strategy for conversations, without having to relay my whole story to everyone I speak to, and MRI follow up...
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Good news about Golf, Wii, and Festivals
I have been worried that my slightly less-balanced self would have trouble hitting balls now... so today I hit the driving range to check it out. Great news - somehow my aim seems to have improved slightly! It was only one time, so I'm not going to start bragging about being the next Annika Sonrenstam or anything, but definitely a good sign that the hearing won't affect my golf. Yay!
I also think the Wii Fit will help me to continue to improve my balance. Today I hooked it up and tried it out. Turns out, for the most part, I did alright - the only difficult ones were the exercises where you have to stand on one foot. My Wii age has gone down by a couple of years too! I'm only 29 now! Seriously, those Nintendo scientists are brilliant!!!
After all these successes, I decided to venture out with the dog over to the Festival of Friends for another try at being in a loud public place. We walked over to the park, and I found it much easier today. It might have been that there were significantly less people, or that it was daylight rather than night, or that there was country bands playing instead of heavier rock, but in any case, I was able to actuallly go into the park and hang out an watch the show for a bit. It was the Wilkinsons, and they were really good. I forgot how fun country music can be!
So all in all, today was a great one-eared day!
I also think the Wii Fit will help me to continue to improve my balance. Today I hooked it up and tried it out. Turns out, for the most part, I did alright - the only difficult ones were the exercises where you have to stand on one foot. My Wii age has gone down by a couple of years too! I'm only 29 now! Seriously, those Nintendo scientists are brilliant!!!
After all these successes, I decided to venture out with the dog over to the Festival of Friends for another try at being in a loud public place. We walked over to the park, and I found it much easier today. It might have been that there were significantly less people, or that it was daylight rather than night, or that there was country bands playing instead of heavier rock, but in any case, I was able to actuallly go into the park and hang out an watch the show for a bit. It was the Wilkinsons, and they were really good. I forgot how fun country music can be!
So all in all, today was a great one-eared day!
Friday, August 7, 2009
Much Better Day at Work
Well, today was MUCH better! My dog Piper woke me up a half hour before my alarm, so I was up and at 'em early. I was able to last much longer at work, and my headache came and went rather than staying all day. It was a huge relief to get home, though, into the peace and quiet of my backyard... until the Festival started!!! Music all night long.
Might as well take advantage, though, since I won't be here long. My sister and I walked over to check it out. There were people everywhere - it must be a record turnout. Piper didn't know what the heck was going on - all these people, sounds, smells in her park???
Funniest part of the evening though: On our way to the park, there was a man walking down my street, and as we were crossing at the intersection, Piper totally started freaking out - I swear she thought it was my dad. So we stopped, let her smell him, he patted her, they made friends. Then we pretended to be "training" her so that he would move on (Amanda doesn't like to make friends so quickly). So we went all the way to the park, walked around it and then started our way back. Next thing we knew, the man was there again, walking back to his car. He was nice enough but it was a little creepy, so although we chatted again, and pointed him back to his car, we pretended that that was not my street and continued on our way. Ok I'm getting to the funny part. So we walked down another block or so, then doubled back thinking that he would be gone, but sure enough, we saw a car up the street turn its lights on - we were so busted. So what are two girls and a dog to do? RUN!!!! We raced as fast as we could up the street and into my house (totally inconspicuous), trying to hide the dog, slamming my door shut behind us and turning off all the lights. Surely he never noticed.
Hopefully he doesn't realize we gave him the shaft. I do feel bad for him - coming all the way down to the festival, parking a mile away and then walking in and out and going home... poor guy. He had no idea what he was getting into.
Looking forward to a good sleep tonight. Have had a bit of insomnia between the hours of 2 and 5ish am for the past several nights. Fingers crossed I can get through that tonight and maybe even sleep in - and wake up to hearing out of both ears!!!
Might as well take advantage, though, since I won't be here long. My sister and I walked over to check it out. There were people everywhere - it must be a record turnout. Piper didn't know what the heck was going on - all these people, sounds, smells in her park???
Funniest part of the evening though: On our way to the park, there was a man walking down my street, and as we were crossing at the intersection, Piper totally started freaking out - I swear she thought it was my dad. So we stopped, let her smell him, he patted her, they made friends. Then we pretended to be "training" her so that he would move on (Amanda doesn't like to make friends so quickly). So we went all the way to the park, walked around it and then started our way back. Next thing we knew, the man was there again, walking back to his car. He was nice enough but it was a little creepy, so although we chatted again, and pointed him back to his car, we pretended that that was not my street and continued on our way. Ok I'm getting to the funny part. So we walked down another block or so, then doubled back thinking that he would be gone, but sure enough, we saw a car up the street turn its lights on - we were so busted. So what are two girls and a dog to do? RUN!!!! We raced as fast as we could up the street and into my house (totally inconspicuous), trying to hide the dog, slamming my door shut behind us and turning off all the lights. Surely he never noticed.
Hopefully he doesn't realize we gave him the shaft. I do feel bad for him - coming all the way down to the festival, parking a mile away and then walking in and out and going home... poor guy. He had no idea what he was getting into.
Looking forward to a good sleep tonight. Have had a bit of insomnia between the hours of 2 and 5ish am for the past several nights. Fingers crossed I can get through that tonight and maybe even sleep in - and wake up to hearing out of both ears!!!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
First Day Back at Work...
Whoa.... That was quite a bit more difficult than I thought it would be! Let's see, it started with me (the lightest sleeper EVER) completely not hearing my alarm for 35 minutes, and only waking up when my dog was nudging me, confused about the ongoing beeping. Then there was the trip to the gas station to get air in my tires, which cost 50 cents, which I didn't have, so I had to go to Tim Hortons (and still off coffee so that was just a mean, tempting trip). They screwed up my order somehow, giving me some sort of bagel with every seed imaginable and loaded with butter, when I ordered the whole wheat with light cream cheese. And then there was construction getting out of the gas station so I had to backtrack several blocks just to get back on the road to work... bad start to the day.
OK, but then the drive to work wasn't bad because I missed all the traffic. I didn't even have to take the 407 and still made it in an hour. Something positive!!
I have to say, the open office environment is not conducive to this hearing / ringing issue. It seems that the ringing gets louder to compensate for the white noise and various conversations around me. Within a couple of hours I had a killer headache and I was exhausted from trying to concentrate on the conversations I was having and tune out all the background. I'm sure I will get used to this though.
I do have to say how proud and thankful I am for my team at work. They were so supportive throughout my time off and have really stepped it up without me around. They barely need me so really this has been a huge blessing for them (learning and empowering) and for me (to relax and let them be more independent). Bridget and Erin totally rock! This will totally help me to back off from work a little and enjoy a bit of life.
For now, I think it's off to bed early and I guess I will have to actually close the windows to block out the bird chirping instead of rolling onto the good ear...
OK, but then the drive to work wasn't bad because I missed all the traffic. I didn't even have to take the 407 and still made it in an hour. Something positive!!
I have to say, the open office environment is not conducive to this hearing / ringing issue. It seems that the ringing gets louder to compensate for the white noise and various conversations around me. Within a couple of hours I had a killer headache and I was exhausted from trying to concentrate on the conversations I was having and tune out all the background. I'm sure I will get used to this though.
I do have to say how proud and thankful I am for my team at work. They were so supportive throughout my time off and have really stepped it up without me around. They barely need me so really this has been a huge blessing for them (learning and empowering) and for me (to relax and let them be more independent). Bridget and Erin totally rock! This will totally help me to back off from work a little and enjoy a bit of life.
For now, I think it's off to bed early and I guess I will have to actually close the windows to block out the bird chirping instead of rolling onto the good ear...
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
The Healer at the Pool
Today, after waking up to silence, checking the phone buttons again (and yes, I swear I can slightly hear the tones), and doing a few hours of packing, I went off to my sister's for a swim in her condo's pool. Luckily it was relatively quiet at the pool - two guys and my sister and I. As we started chatting with them, one of the guys - Derek - mentioned that he was a teacher and a "healer". I jokingly asked him if he's ever healed anyone who had suddenly lost their hearing, and gave him a brief synopsis of my situation. He then spent about a half hour "feeling" me - not that way - just sitting, concentrating on my energy. He asked me why I thought this had happened to me, and I explained that it was apparently just some random thing, nothing I had done or could have done to prevent it. But he was stuck on this, and asked several times. Then he spent another twenty minutes or so, tapping my Meridian points, having me concentrate on my ear and chant. It was... interesting. I'm up to trying anything, and he was absolutely determined that this would help. Afterwards, he got me to try his phone to see if I could hear it, and I definitely could. Not sure if it's any better, but if anything, I felt relaxed after the "healing"...
But this has made me wonder why this has happened. I think maybe it really was someone telling me to slow down and relax. It has forced me to pause in my work and actually take some time off, and has helped me to really enjoy relaxing. I think perhaps this is one of those life-changing events that will help me to live a more personally rewarding life. So, even though I am back to work tomorrow, I am remembering that it is a j.o.b. and there's a lot more to life. So I will be home in time to spend some fun time with the dog, my family or a friend. I will also be finding time to do some sort of physical activity - whether it's a jog/bike with the dog or an hour at the gym. That's it. Perhaps this was a reminder about these things that I have put on pause during the insanity at work...
Who knows? Maybe I'll even have time for a man now too!!! LOL!
But this has made me wonder why this has happened. I think maybe it really was someone telling me to slow down and relax. It has forced me to pause in my work and actually take some time off, and has helped me to really enjoy relaxing. I think perhaps this is one of those life-changing events that will help me to live a more personally rewarding life. So, even though I am back to work tomorrow, I am remembering that it is a j.o.b. and there's a lot more to life. So I will be home in time to spend some fun time with the dog, my family or a friend. I will also be finding time to do some sort of physical activity - whether it's a jog/bike with the dog or an hour at the gym. That's it. Perhaps this was a reminder about these things that I have put on pause during the insanity at work...
Who knows? Maybe I'll even have time for a man now too!!! LOL!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Part 8 - I think I can, I think I can...
Tuesday, August 4
Today I tried the phone thing again - and I really think I can hear the beeps in my bad ear. I even called my own number and got the "please enter your password" message - and I could slightly hear something... couldn't make out words or anything but there was some vibration getting through. HOPE!
I have also started thinking about how life really won't be that bad without hearing in one ear. For example:
- When vacationing with my snoring mother, I only need one ear plug now!
- at least it's my right ear - I can still go through Tim's drive thrus no problem
- I can make sure the really annoying people in meetings sit on my bad ear side so I don't hear them muttering negative things under their breath
- I've been alcohol and caffeine free for over a week now - surely this will help on my way to a more healthy lifestyle
Really, it's not that bad. Hopefully I will get used to being in busy, loud places and will learn to tune into my own conversations and tune out the background. That will make a big difference.
But for now, I am sure I hear the beeps so I think I can get this hearing back!!!
Today I tried the phone thing again - and I really think I can hear the beeps in my bad ear. I even called my own number and got the "please enter your password" message - and I could slightly hear something... couldn't make out words or anything but there was some vibration getting through. HOPE!
I have also started thinking about how life really won't be that bad without hearing in one ear. For example:
- When vacationing with my snoring mother, I only need one ear plug now!
- at least it's my right ear - I can still go through Tim's drive thrus no problem
- I can make sure the really annoying people in meetings sit on my bad ear side so I don't hear them muttering negative things under their breath
- I've been alcohol and caffeine free for over a week now - surely this will help on my way to a more healthy lifestyle
Really, it's not that bad. Hopefully I will get used to being in busy, loud places and will learn to tune into my own conversations and tune out the background. That will make a big difference.
But for now, I am sure I hear the beeps so I think I can get this hearing back!!!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Part 7 - Day 12 B
I tried the phone buttons again. I really think I might be hearing it through my right ear. Good news, right?
Now off to bed. The sooner I sleep, the sooner I will wake up to the sound of birds chirping - in both ears!!!
Now off to bed. The sooner I sleep, the sooner I will wake up to the sound of birds chirping - in both ears!!!
Part 6 - Day 12
Day 12 - Monday, August 3
This morning, when I woke up and didn't hear the birds chirping, I was so sure that it was because they actually weren't singing yet. I didn't want to roll over to give my left ear the chance to hear and prove me wrong. I laid there for several minutes, and then finally decided I had to move. I rolled over and sure enough, the birds were chirping and the wind was whispering through the big maple tree next door. It sounded beautiful, but it reminded me that my right ear was still deaf.
I had an idea, though. I am so certain that my hearing will come back. I decided to test it on the phone. I plugged my left ear and held the phone up to my right one. I strained to see if I could hear the dial tone, but I couldn't. So then I pressed some buttons, and I honestly think I could hear them through my right ear! I think this is definitely new hope. I'm going to try this later today to see if it gets louder.
My plans to keep busy today include fixing the gate on my house so that it's nicer for the lady moving in, going for lunch with my friend Scott, and maybe some more packing.
Two more days until I go back to work. I'm really hoping I can hear by that time.
This morning, when I woke up and didn't hear the birds chirping, I was so sure that it was because they actually weren't singing yet. I didn't want to roll over to give my left ear the chance to hear and prove me wrong. I laid there for several minutes, and then finally decided I had to move. I rolled over and sure enough, the birds were chirping and the wind was whispering through the big maple tree next door. It sounded beautiful, but it reminded me that my right ear was still deaf.
I had an idea, though. I am so certain that my hearing will come back. I decided to test it on the phone. I plugged my left ear and held the phone up to my right one. I strained to see if I could hear the dial tone, but I couldn't. So then I pressed some buttons, and I honestly think I could hear them through my right ear! I think this is definitely new hope. I'm going to try this later today to see if it gets louder.
My plans to keep busy today include fixing the gate on my house so that it's nicer for the lady moving in, going for lunch with my friend Scott, and maybe some more packing.
Two more days until I go back to work. I'm really hoping I can hear by that time.
Part 5 - Day 11
Day 11 - Sunday August 2
Today was not such a good day. I woke up, still unable to hear, and although I keep trying to keep positive, I'm starting to feel less hopeful. I ate breakfast, took my 12 prednisone pills, and then thought about things I should do - pack the den, cut the lawn, purge items from the basement... instead, I laid on the couch. Watching tv is almost just annoying these days. I have learned to turn on the speakers that are on either side of the couch, and sit on the left side so that the one speaker is nice and loud in my good ear, but the sound still seems muffled. So I laid down in silence, just thinking. I think I must have laid there for about an hour, feeling sorry for myself, when my mom called. I have really been trying to be positive in front of her because I know how much of a worrier she is. I thought about not answering the phone, but she'd probably just worry more, so I picked it up. She offered to stop by with some granola for me (I'd left mine at her house a few weeks ago). She came by and found me sitting in silence, obviously not myself. I cried that morning in front of her. (sorry mom). I couldn't help it. It only lasted a few seconds, though, and then I snapped myself back into busy mode. She needed to use the computer, so I left her on it while I went up to my den and packed.
She left shortly after that, and I mowed my lawn, finished my packing of the den, and then decided to write this blog. I feel like I need to "talk" about my experience, but I don't want to get emotional and cry, which happens when I actually talk to someone about it... if that makes sense. This is somehow therapeutic, so even if nobody reads it, it is somehow helping me.
Later in the afternoon, my sister came by. We met my mom at Kelsey's for dinner. I've already figured out where to sit at restaurants so that I can hear the waitress as well as the people I'm with. A booth is best, and I like to sit on the right side, in the far end, so that my left ear is facing everyone. It's still very difficult to hear anything in busy places like restaurants, but if I watch people talking, I can make out most of what they say.
By the time I got home, my day that started out depressing had actually been productive. I packed my den, bough more packing tape, mowed the lawn, started the blog, and went to dinner. Not bad for a day that I thought would be spent feeling sorry for myself on the couch.
Monday will be the 4th day of prednisone. Only one day more of 12 pill dosage... I think for sure I'll start to hear something on Monday.
Today was not such a good day. I woke up, still unable to hear, and although I keep trying to keep positive, I'm starting to feel less hopeful. I ate breakfast, took my 12 prednisone pills, and then thought about things I should do - pack the den, cut the lawn, purge items from the basement... instead, I laid on the couch. Watching tv is almost just annoying these days. I have learned to turn on the speakers that are on either side of the couch, and sit on the left side so that the one speaker is nice and loud in my good ear, but the sound still seems muffled. So I laid down in silence, just thinking. I think I must have laid there for about an hour, feeling sorry for myself, when my mom called. I have really been trying to be positive in front of her because I know how much of a worrier she is. I thought about not answering the phone, but she'd probably just worry more, so I picked it up. She offered to stop by with some granola for me (I'd left mine at her house a few weeks ago). She came by and found me sitting in silence, obviously not myself. I cried that morning in front of her. (sorry mom). I couldn't help it. It only lasted a few seconds, though, and then I snapped myself back into busy mode. She needed to use the computer, so I left her on it while I went up to my den and packed.
She left shortly after that, and I mowed my lawn, finished my packing of the den, and then decided to write this blog. I feel like I need to "talk" about my experience, but I don't want to get emotional and cry, which happens when I actually talk to someone about it... if that makes sense. This is somehow therapeutic, so even if nobody reads it, it is somehow helping me.
Later in the afternoon, my sister came by. We met my mom at Kelsey's for dinner. I've already figured out where to sit at restaurants so that I can hear the waitress as well as the people I'm with. A booth is best, and I like to sit on the right side, in the far end, so that my left ear is facing everyone. It's still very difficult to hear anything in busy places like restaurants, but if I watch people talking, I can make out most of what they say.
By the time I got home, my day that started out depressing had actually been productive. I packed my den, bough more packing tape, mowed the lawn, started the blog, and went to dinner. Not bad for a day that I thought would be spent feeling sorry for myself on the couch.
Monday will be the 4th day of prednisone. Only one day more of 12 pill dosage... I think for sure I'll start to hear something on Monday.
Part 4 - Day 10
Day 10 - Saturday, August 1
Today was a bit rough. I'm not going to lie. I've tried to be positive throughout the past 9 days but there have definitely been times that, when I'm sitting alone in my house, with the buzzing constant in my right ear, that I have broken down crying. I didn't mention it on Day 9's blog but my dad picked me up in Oakville after the Dr's, and drove me home, and although I tried not to be down, as soon as he dropped me off and I closed the door of my house, I bawled like a baby. I mean, really, prednisone? My dog took this when she had cancer. My grandmother, who's over 80, took it after her stroke. It's serious stuff. I never thought I'd have to take a drug like this. It's hard to believe that in one minute, you are completely healthy, and then in the next you're taking 3 drugs - one for dizziness, one to protect your stomach, and a steroid to try to correct your inner ear issues... insane.
Anyways, I woke up on Saturday, thinking surely I would be able to hear, but again there was nothing. I have been trying to think of this as a positive. I've always been a very light sleeper, so much so that I have made a habit of getting up in the middle of the night and closing my windows so that the chirping of birds doesn't wake me up at 4 am. I don't have to do that anymore. I just roll onto my good ear and I don't hear anything. This is convenient. But then when I turn over and I hear the birds, suddenly the sound I've always found so annoying at 4 am is the most beautiful sound to my good ear. I want to keep listening to them chirping away.
I've found that the best thing for me is to keep busy. I've got to move in just over three weeks, so I have packing and some shopping to do. Shopping is definitely more fun than packing, so I called my mom to see if she wanted to go bed shopping with me. I try to draw out the day so it's as long and packed as possible. And I even found a fantastic bed at an amazing price. I mean, I actually felt like I had robbed the poor sales guy when we left. I've never bartered before. Perhaps my new hearing loss has made me more apt to try new things like that.
I'm really feeling angry at our medical system. I know that part of it is must my natural anger as part of my grieving process at losing my hearing (which I'm still sure is going to come back!!!) But seriously, I saw 3 Doctors and none of them thought it was urgent fo rme to see a Specialist, and then I had to use personal contacts to get into the ENT clinic, and was told ultimately that it might be too late to regain my hearing. Imagine if the Doctor that I saw first, less than 12 hours after my hearing loss, had done something about it. Or even the 2nd Doctor, 72 hours afterwards. Then my prognosis would have been very positive. I'm so frustrated with this. I can completely empathise with Shona Holmes, the Canadian woman who is now on the US ads against changing to a public health system like ours after having to go to the Mayo Clinic in Arizona for treatment for her brain tumour. In emergencies, there should be an opportunity to use whatever resources you have to get the help you need. I'm so lucky that I knew people who knew other people who could help. OK that's my venting for Saturday. I'm sure I'll have more to say on later days.
It's only my second day on the steroids. Certainly, a few more, and I'll start to hear something!
Today was a bit rough. I'm not going to lie. I've tried to be positive throughout the past 9 days but there have definitely been times that, when I'm sitting alone in my house, with the buzzing constant in my right ear, that I have broken down crying. I didn't mention it on Day 9's blog but my dad picked me up in Oakville after the Dr's, and drove me home, and although I tried not to be down, as soon as he dropped me off and I closed the door of my house, I bawled like a baby. I mean, really, prednisone? My dog took this when she had cancer. My grandmother, who's over 80, took it after her stroke. It's serious stuff. I never thought I'd have to take a drug like this. It's hard to believe that in one minute, you are completely healthy, and then in the next you're taking 3 drugs - one for dizziness, one to protect your stomach, and a steroid to try to correct your inner ear issues... insane.
Anyways, I woke up on Saturday, thinking surely I would be able to hear, but again there was nothing. I have been trying to think of this as a positive. I've always been a very light sleeper, so much so that I have made a habit of getting up in the middle of the night and closing my windows so that the chirping of birds doesn't wake me up at 4 am. I don't have to do that anymore. I just roll onto my good ear and I don't hear anything. This is convenient. But then when I turn over and I hear the birds, suddenly the sound I've always found so annoying at 4 am is the most beautiful sound to my good ear. I want to keep listening to them chirping away.
I've found that the best thing for me is to keep busy. I've got to move in just over three weeks, so I have packing and some shopping to do. Shopping is definitely more fun than packing, so I called my mom to see if she wanted to go bed shopping with me. I try to draw out the day so it's as long and packed as possible. And I even found a fantastic bed at an amazing price. I mean, I actually felt like I had robbed the poor sales guy when we left. I've never bartered before. Perhaps my new hearing loss has made me more apt to try new things like that.
I'm really feeling angry at our medical system. I know that part of it is must my natural anger as part of my grieving process at losing my hearing (which I'm still sure is going to come back!!!) But seriously, I saw 3 Doctors and none of them thought it was urgent fo rme to see a Specialist, and then I had to use personal contacts to get into the ENT clinic, and was told ultimately that it might be too late to regain my hearing. Imagine if the Doctor that I saw first, less than 12 hours after my hearing loss, had done something about it. Or even the 2nd Doctor, 72 hours afterwards. Then my prognosis would have been very positive. I'm so frustrated with this. I can completely empathise with Shona Holmes, the Canadian woman who is now on the US ads against changing to a public health system like ours after having to go to the Mayo Clinic in Arizona for treatment for her brain tumour. In emergencies, there should be an opportunity to use whatever resources you have to get the help you need. I'm so lucky that I knew people who knew other people who could help. OK that's my venting for Saturday. I'm sure I'll have more to say on later days.
It's only my second day on the steroids. Certainly, a few more, and I'll start to hear something!
Part 3 - The ENT Clinic
Day 9 - Friday, July 31
My sister Amanda stayed over in Hamilton on Thursday night to drive me to the ENT clinic in Toronto. (Thanks Amanda!) I woke up sleeping on my good ear and my bedroom was so quiet. I still felt hopeful though - today, I was sure they'd tell me good news and they'd be able to flush my ear or something to get my hearing back!
We got to St Mike's around 9 am. I was only slightly dizzy - mostly when going up or down stairs. Everyone at the hospital was great to deal with - they were friendly, professional, efficient and kind. We met with a resident Dr who was very nice, and did several tests of my ears and listened to the whole story, asking questions and really paying attention to what I was telling her. It was the first time I felt like a doctor was really listening.
They sent me for a full hearing test - I had tubes inserted into my ears, some sort of band on my head, and was locked into a soundproof room. I was told to press a button whenever I heard a beep. This was too much of a photo op to pass up, so I said "My sister has got to take a picture of me like this!" She did, after the test - it's hard to see the tubes but they're there!
I could tell for the first little while that the only beeps I was hearing were in my left ear. Then the test changed, so that I heard a rushing sound in my left ear and I had to listen for beeps in the right. I was straining so hard to hear a beep, sitting on the edge of my seat, eyes wide open, listening with every muscle in my body. I actually did hear a few - and I felt them vibrate through my head - I swear, I nearly fell off the chair! Surely this was a positive sign!!! It was the first thing I had heard, other than the constant ringing, in 9 days!
The next part of the test was a voice, telling me to repeat words. First, the voice was all in my left ear, and of course, it was no problem. Then, after 5 words, there was complete silence. I was telling myself that they hadn't played the right ear yet... but then the door opened and the test was over. I hadn't heard any of the voice in my right ear.
The Audiologist reviewed the results with me, explaining that I had "profound" hearing loss in my right ear, but that I had heard a few of the very loud, high tones in that ear. She gave me a copy of the results, and told me the Doctor would see me shortly. She directed us to a bench in a hallway where we waited fo the Doctor.
Dr. Molly Zirkle met us in the hallway, and right away said she was so sorry for everything I had gone through. Right away, she put us at ease and I felt better. She explained that she did not think I had Meniere's (yay) but that I had a viral infection that had cause the hearing loss. She said it randomly happens to 1/100,000 people, and that nothing I had done caused it or could have prevented it. She also explained that if I had been there within 72 hours of the hearing loss, there was a good probability that I would get the hearing back. (More about this later because I am sooo frustrated with our medical system!!!) She said that we could still try, but that there were several side effects with the drugs that we would use, but that if it was her, she would probably want to do anything she could to get her hearing back. I agreed.
She then explained that she would be putting me on a 15 day cycle of steroids, and that it was absolutely essential that I take them exactly as directed or they can cause serious health issues. Some of the side effects that I might experience included mood swings, jitters, restlessness, handling stress differently, and th possibility of loss of blood flow to a limb or extremity - this could happen within a year of taking them. She also had to prescribe a separate medication to protect the lining of my stomach from the Prednisone. I took the prescription and asked what the prognosis was. The doctor explained that the prognosis for my hearing was "Guarded" due to the length of time it had been, but that I was young, so that was on my side. She said that my body would adapt to the dizziness and that for the most part, that wouldn't bother me unless I was doing a unique activity like trying to walk across a log.
She also explained that I needed to come back for an MRI to make sure there wasn't a growth causing this. They will call me when that is booked.
I left St Michaels, determined that the prednisone was going to work - I was definitely going to get my hearing back - after all, I'd heard a few beeps, and I was young!!
We drove back to Oakville and stopped to pick up the prescription. I had to take 60 mg for 5 days, then 40 for 4 days, then tapeering off for 2 days at a time until I was down to nothing. We decided to have lunch and I took my first dose. 12 pills... and they are the most bitter tasting pills ever!
So, day 9 was prednisone day one. And new hope that my hearing would come back now that it was being treated. Thinking positive thoughts...
My sister Amanda stayed over in Hamilton on Thursday night to drive me to the ENT clinic in Toronto. (Thanks Amanda!) I woke up sleeping on my good ear and my bedroom was so quiet. I still felt hopeful though - today, I was sure they'd tell me good news and they'd be able to flush my ear or something to get my hearing back!
We got to St Mike's around 9 am. I was only slightly dizzy - mostly when going up or down stairs. Everyone at the hospital was great to deal with - they were friendly, professional, efficient and kind. We met with a resident Dr who was very nice, and did several tests of my ears and listened to the whole story, asking questions and really paying attention to what I was telling her. It was the first time I felt like a doctor was really listening.
They sent me for a full hearing test - I had tubes inserted into my ears, some sort of band on my head, and was locked into a soundproof room. I was told to press a button whenever I heard a beep. This was too much of a photo op to pass up, so I said "My sister has got to take a picture of me like this!" She did, after the test - it's hard to see the tubes but they're there!
I could tell for the first little while that the only beeps I was hearing were in my left ear. Then the test changed, so that I heard a rushing sound in my left ear and I had to listen for beeps in the right. I was straining so hard to hear a beep, sitting on the edge of my seat, eyes wide open, listening with every muscle in my body. I actually did hear a few - and I felt them vibrate through my head - I swear, I nearly fell off the chair! Surely this was a positive sign!!! It was the first thing I had heard, other than the constant ringing, in 9 days!
The next part of the test was a voice, telling me to repeat words. First, the voice was all in my left ear, and of course, it was no problem. Then, after 5 words, there was complete silence. I was telling myself that they hadn't played the right ear yet... but then the door opened and the test was over. I hadn't heard any of the voice in my right ear.
The Audiologist reviewed the results with me, explaining that I had "profound" hearing loss in my right ear, but that I had heard a few of the very loud, high tones in that ear. She gave me a copy of the results, and told me the Doctor would see me shortly. She directed us to a bench in a hallway where we waited fo the Doctor.
Dr. Molly Zirkle met us in the hallway, and right away said she was so sorry for everything I had gone through. Right away, she put us at ease and I felt better. She explained that she did not think I had Meniere's (yay) but that I had a viral infection that had cause the hearing loss. She said it randomly happens to 1/100,000 people, and that nothing I had done caused it or could have prevented it. She also explained that if I had been there within 72 hours of the hearing loss, there was a good probability that I would get the hearing back. (More about this later because I am sooo frustrated with our medical system!!!) She said that we could still try, but that there were several side effects with the drugs that we would use, but that if it was her, she would probably want to do anything she could to get her hearing back. I agreed.
She then explained that she would be putting me on a 15 day cycle of steroids, and that it was absolutely essential that I take them exactly as directed or they can cause serious health issues. Some of the side effects that I might experience included mood swings, jitters, restlessness, handling stress differently, and th possibility of loss of blood flow to a limb or extremity - this could happen within a year of taking them. She also had to prescribe a separate medication to protect the lining of my stomach from the Prednisone. I took the prescription and asked what the prognosis was. The doctor explained that the prognosis for my hearing was "Guarded" due to the length of time it had been, but that I was young, so that was on my side. She said that my body would adapt to the dizziness and that for the most part, that wouldn't bother me unless I was doing a unique activity like trying to walk across a log.
She also explained that I needed to come back for an MRI to make sure there wasn't a growth causing this. They will call me when that is booked.
I left St Michaels, determined that the prednisone was going to work - I was definitely going to get my hearing back - after all, I'd heard a few beeps, and I was young!!
We drove back to Oakville and stopped to pick up the prescription. I had to take 60 mg for 5 days, then 40 for 4 days, then tapeering off for 2 days at a time until I was down to nothing. We decided to have lunch and I took my first dose. 12 pills... and they are the most bitter tasting pills ever!
So, day 9 was prednisone day one. And new hope that my hearing would come back now that it was being treated. Thinking positive thoughts...
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Part 2 - Day 5-8
Day 5 - Monday, July 27th
I felt extremely dizzy today, so was unable to go to work. This drives me nuts. I am far too busy right now to miss work!!! But I really couldn't do anything about it except reply to emails on my blackberry in between bouts of vertigo and sleep.
I called my Doctor first thing in the morning, and told him what had happened and that I thought I should see him and possibly a Specialist. He told me to come in and he'd make time for me.
Once again, my family came through for me - my dad drove me to the Doctors at 9 am. I had a few minutes with him, and he basically looked in my ear, said it was an infection and that he'd see if I could get into a Specialist. He told me not to worry about the hearing, he was sure it would come back - I'd probably wake up and it would be there again. I laughed and said that's what I expect every morning...
His receptionist told him the Specialist was booking 2 months out. He said "get her in sooner", and wandered off to his next patient. I left hoping that sooner was really soon. Although he had told me not to worry, I was starting to. It was now the fifth day that I had no hearing in my right ear.
I went home to rest and called my boss at some point to tell her what was going on. She was concerned and told me to relax and take the time I needed. (Thanks Leslie!).
I rested, relaxed, worked on my blackberry (what did people do before them???), took my anti-dizziness medication, and went to bed early, hopeful to hear when I woke up.
Day 6 - Tuesday, July 28
I woke up... still completely deaf except for the ringing in my right ear... I was starting to feel frustrated with this. It's amazing how one ear can really affect you. I'm still dizzy, I can't tell where noises or voices are coming from, and I think it's a little frustrating for people with me. I feel terrible when I can't hear them.
I did more research on Meniere's, hearing loss, my symptoms. Everything I read said that it was important to get to a Specialist within 72 hours of hearing loss. I hadn't heard from my Doctor's yet about an appointment. I called them around noon to see if they had any information. They told me they would try again but they had nothing yet.
My boss called me and told me not to get my hopes up but that another colleague had a connection at Toronto's St Michael's hospital, and would see if they could help get me into the Ear, Nose, Throat Clinic there. I thanked her, we both cried, then laughed at ourselves for crying, and she told me to relax again. (Once again, thanks Leslie!).
about a half hour later, I got the contact info for the Doctor at St Michael's. Unfortunately, he was in Paris on vacation for several weeks, but his assistant would help me to get an appointment at the ENT clinic. I called her right away and she took my info and said she'd do what she could.
Day 7 - Wednesday, July 29
I finally got a call from my Doctor's office. I had a Specialist appointment... August 19th. OMG How was I going to live with dizziness and Tinnitus and deafness until then? And by that time, what could they do? i asked if they had any advice, but the Doctor was actually not in until Thursday, so I said I'd call back to speak with him.
I emailed my boss to let her know that I had an appointment. She agreed that the 19th was a long way away, and asked if I'd heard from St Michaels yet. I said no, but that I'd call tomorrow morning if I still hadn't heard. AI was still hopeful that my hearing would come back - my email said "I'm 99% sure that I'll be able to hear tomorrow when I wake up. Fingers crossed every day."
Day 8 - Thursday, July 30
OK, so I still couldn't hear when I woke up. I'm still hopeful. It's now a full week that I've been deaf in my right ear. It could still come back. Really, anything's possible.
I called and spoke with my Doctor to ask if he could recommend anything else for the dizziness or the hearing. He said the drugs I was on were the strongest ones to combat the dizziness, and that "It's only been a week. You'll probably wake up and hear one of these days real soon". Yep. That's what I'd been hoping. For 7 nights now.
I got another email from my boss saying that our colleague was wanting to call and "push". I had already called St Michaels again, and they still had no news but were trying to get an emergency appointment.
Within an hour of the email, I received a call and had an appointment for Friday morning!!! Yay! I was so relived. For sure, they'd be able to help me! I immediately emailed our colleague to thank her for putting me in touch with them. Hope was back in full force!
I spent the rest of the day working, I finally felt well enough to sit and type away on my laptop, and even to walk around and make myself a salad for dinner. I thought for sure I was on the mend!
Tomorrow, certainly I would wake up able to hear.
I felt extremely dizzy today, so was unable to go to work. This drives me nuts. I am far too busy right now to miss work!!! But I really couldn't do anything about it except reply to emails on my blackberry in between bouts of vertigo and sleep.
I called my Doctor first thing in the morning, and told him what had happened and that I thought I should see him and possibly a Specialist. He told me to come in and he'd make time for me.
Once again, my family came through for me - my dad drove me to the Doctors at 9 am. I had a few minutes with him, and he basically looked in my ear, said it was an infection and that he'd see if I could get into a Specialist. He told me not to worry about the hearing, he was sure it would come back - I'd probably wake up and it would be there again. I laughed and said that's what I expect every morning...
His receptionist told him the Specialist was booking 2 months out. He said "get her in sooner", and wandered off to his next patient. I left hoping that sooner was really soon. Although he had told me not to worry, I was starting to. It was now the fifth day that I had no hearing in my right ear.
I went home to rest and called my boss at some point to tell her what was going on. She was concerned and told me to relax and take the time I needed. (Thanks Leslie!).
I rested, relaxed, worked on my blackberry (what did people do before them???), took my anti-dizziness medication, and went to bed early, hopeful to hear when I woke up.
Day 6 - Tuesday, July 28
I woke up... still completely deaf except for the ringing in my right ear... I was starting to feel frustrated with this. It's amazing how one ear can really affect you. I'm still dizzy, I can't tell where noises or voices are coming from, and I think it's a little frustrating for people with me. I feel terrible when I can't hear them.
I did more research on Meniere's, hearing loss, my symptoms. Everything I read said that it was important to get to a Specialist within 72 hours of hearing loss. I hadn't heard from my Doctor's yet about an appointment. I called them around noon to see if they had any information. They told me they would try again but they had nothing yet.
My boss called me and told me not to get my hopes up but that another colleague had a connection at Toronto's St Michael's hospital, and would see if they could help get me into the Ear, Nose, Throat Clinic there. I thanked her, we both cried, then laughed at ourselves for crying, and she told me to relax again. (Once again, thanks Leslie!).
about a half hour later, I got the contact info for the Doctor at St Michael's. Unfortunately, he was in Paris on vacation for several weeks, but his assistant would help me to get an appointment at the ENT clinic. I called her right away and she took my info and said she'd do what she could.
Day 7 - Wednesday, July 29
I finally got a call from my Doctor's office. I had a Specialist appointment... August 19th. OMG How was I going to live with dizziness and Tinnitus and deafness until then? And by that time, what could they do? i asked if they had any advice, but the Doctor was actually not in until Thursday, so I said I'd call back to speak with him.
I emailed my boss to let her know that I had an appointment. She agreed that the 19th was a long way away, and asked if I'd heard from St Michaels yet. I said no, but that I'd call tomorrow morning if I still hadn't heard. AI was still hopeful that my hearing would come back - my email said "I'm 99% sure that I'll be able to hear tomorrow when I wake up. Fingers crossed every day."
Day 8 - Thursday, July 30
OK, so I still couldn't hear when I woke up. I'm still hopeful. It's now a full week that I've been deaf in my right ear. It could still come back. Really, anything's possible.
I called and spoke with my Doctor to ask if he could recommend anything else for the dizziness or the hearing. He said the drugs I was on were the strongest ones to combat the dizziness, and that "It's only been a week. You'll probably wake up and hear one of these days real soon". Yep. That's what I'd been hoping. For 7 nights now.
I got another email from my boss saying that our colleague was wanting to call and "push". I had already called St Michaels again, and they still had no news but were trying to get an emergency appointment.
Within an hour of the email, I received a call and had an appointment for Friday morning!!! Yay! I was so relived. For sure, they'd be able to help me! I immediately emailed our colleague to thank her for putting me in touch with them. Hope was back in full force!
I spent the rest of the day working, I finally felt well enough to sit and type away on my laptop, and even to walk around and make myself a salad for dinner. I thought for sure I was on the mend!
Tomorrow, certainly I would wake up able to hear.
Part 1
I just thought it might be worth sharing my story with anyone who's interested, so bear with me as I catch you up to today (Day 11)... Obviously, logically this would have been day 1 so here goes, starting at the beginning.
Day 1 - Thursday, July 23
I woke up to the sound of rain - I love the sound of the rain hitting the windows and the roof. I distinctly remember how soothing it was that morning especially. As usual, I got up, drove myself to work and got there just before 8am. I had a meeting from 8-8:30 and until a few minutes after that, everything was still fine.
Some time between 8 and 9, I started hearing an annoying ringing in my right ear, and a short time later, that was all that I could hear from my right ear. I wasn't too concerned, and tried to release the pressure by blowing with my nose plugged, yawning, etc. I was joking with some of my colleagues about it (I'll make sure so-and-so sits on my right at the next meeting,etc). By the end of the day, though, it was getting pretty annoying - the ringing was giving me a headache, sounds were excruciatingly loud in my left ear, and I couldn't hear anything in the right. I had actually walked right by a table of people calling me and they thought I had ignored them because I completely couldn't hear.
That night, I started looking on the internet at my symptoms and everything I read told me to get it checked out. So I called the Tele-Health number, and the nurse on the other end of the phone told me the same thing. Again, I had some fun with her after she told me I had to get to a hospital within 4 hours, and then asked me if I would participate in a survey on the service I received - "I don't have time for that - you said I had to get to the hospital (haha)". We laughed, but I took the advice and went straight to emergency.
So, less than 12 hours after the hearing loss began, I was seeing a Doctor. I have to say, the Doctor did not inspire confidence... he had the wrong chart when he walked in, told me my blood pressure was extremely high (after the nurse who took it told me it was 122/82, almost perfect), and then told me it was just an ear infection and gave me a prescription for antibiotics.
I went home, honestly a little doubtful about this diagnosis and the lack of science that went into it, but hopeful that it really was just an ear infection and it would be cleared up quickly.
Day 2 - Friday, July 24th
I woke up this day, still completely deaf in my right ear except for the Tinnitus (that's what they call the ringing). I felt slightly dizzy but nothing too noticeable, so I went to work. This was a bad day, as I had to go with an Area Manager to terminate a Manager in his region. But we made the best of it. We talked about my "ear infection", and he gave me tips on using mineral oil to relieve it. I began to notice that it was very difficult to hear anything in a room where there were several conversations or a buzz of noise - we met at a Starbucks and I found it almost impossible to follow our conversation in that atmosphere.
Overall, the day was uneventful as far as the ear... still deaf and ringing at the end of the day.
Day 3 - Saturday, July 25
This was the day of my colleague Bridget's wedding celebration. I was looking forward to going, meeting her husband Chris, and her brother from the West. He's also in HR, and I'm such a network-aholic, I was excited to meet him. All morning, I bustled around, cleaning the house, then showering and getting ready for the wedding. By 1:30 I was all ready and sat down to relax until my friend and date, Scott, arrived at 2.
By 1:45, I was extremely dizzy. I found myself laying on the couch, trying to keep up with the room spinning. When Scott arrived, that's where I was. I was still determined that I would feel better though, and be able to go to the wedding. I sat up, and we decided we'd wait it out for a half hour or so and see how I was.
About an hour and a half later, I felt a little better. I was able to walk around, a little unbalanced, but not so bad. We decided to get in the car and try to get to Toronto for the wedding. There was a terrible storm, though, and I didn't feel well as we were driving in such limited visibility, so we stopped in Burlington.
I never made it to the wedding (Sorry Bridget!). I was able to eat something, have a glass of wine and try to relax. We sat at my place and watched a movie, and then Scott went home relatively early. I went straight to bed and crashed almost instantly.
The next thing I knew, it was around 1 am and the room was spinning and I was definitely going to throw up. I stumbled to the bathroom and ended up spending the night laying on the floor, too sick to get a blanket or pillow, so using a crumpled bathmat to put my head on, and throwing up every few hours.
Day 4 - Sunday, July 26
Finally, around 7:45 am, I had my last hurling experience... it really was like hurling - completely uncontrollable wretching... yuck. I found that if I laid on my side in bed, I was ok - it was when I moved, or laid on my back that the room spun uncontrollably.
I called my mom as soon as I felt it wasn't too early - it's amazing how no matter how old you get, you go straight to your mom when you're in need. As soon as she picked up the phone I asked her to come down to my house. I told her I'd been sick and dizzy and I though I might have to go to the hospital again. She came right away. (Thanks mom!)
We called my Doctor's office and ended up getting a hold of an on-call Doctor through a unique Tele-Health number they had. I wish I could remember his name - he was quite thorough on the phone, asking many questions and ended up telling me that it sounded like I had Meniere's disease. He said I needed to see a specialist and that the fastest way to do so would be through emergency at McMaster. As soon as we hung up, my mom and I headed there.
I am a little foggy about this day somehow - I know that my dad actually drove us to the hospital, but I don't remember him getting to my house. But in any case, my family really came together. My showed up within an hour of our arriving at Mac, so the entire Ross clan was together to support me. I needed help to walk without stumbling so my mom walked me into the Dr's office when they called my name.
The Dr seemed thorough and believable this time. He did several tests with balance and eye tracking, looked in my ears, asked lost of questions again, and then said it was Meniere's. He prescribed something called Serc (sp?) for the dizziness and said that the hearing would more than likely come back. I asked if he was a specialist and he said no, but that I didn't need one - it was Meniere's and this is what they do for it.
You really are in the hands of the Doctors in times of unknown illness... You just have to hope that they are thorough and knowledgeable enough. So I believed him. I took my medicine, went home to lay on the couch, and hoped the hearing would come back.
Meanwhile, I also started researching Meniere's Disease. I decided quickly that it wasn't something I really wanted to have.
Day 1 - Thursday, July 23
I woke up to the sound of rain - I love the sound of the rain hitting the windows and the roof. I distinctly remember how soothing it was that morning especially. As usual, I got up, drove myself to work and got there just before 8am. I had a meeting from 8-8:30 and until a few minutes after that, everything was still fine.
Some time between 8 and 9, I started hearing an annoying ringing in my right ear, and a short time later, that was all that I could hear from my right ear. I wasn't too concerned, and tried to release the pressure by blowing with my nose plugged, yawning, etc. I was joking with some of my colleagues about it (I'll make sure so-and-so sits on my right at the next meeting,etc). By the end of the day, though, it was getting pretty annoying - the ringing was giving me a headache, sounds were excruciatingly loud in my left ear, and I couldn't hear anything in the right. I had actually walked right by a table of people calling me and they thought I had ignored them because I completely couldn't hear.
That night, I started looking on the internet at my symptoms and everything I read told me to get it checked out. So I called the Tele-Health number, and the nurse on the other end of the phone told me the same thing. Again, I had some fun with her after she told me I had to get to a hospital within 4 hours, and then asked me if I would participate in a survey on the service I received - "I don't have time for that - you said I had to get to the hospital (haha)". We laughed, but I took the advice and went straight to emergency.
So, less than 12 hours after the hearing loss began, I was seeing a Doctor. I have to say, the Doctor did not inspire confidence... he had the wrong chart when he walked in, told me my blood pressure was extremely high (after the nurse who took it told me it was 122/82, almost perfect), and then told me it was just an ear infection and gave me a prescription for antibiotics.
I went home, honestly a little doubtful about this diagnosis and the lack of science that went into it, but hopeful that it really was just an ear infection and it would be cleared up quickly.
Day 2 - Friday, July 24th
I woke up this day, still completely deaf in my right ear except for the Tinnitus (that's what they call the ringing). I felt slightly dizzy but nothing too noticeable, so I went to work. This was a bad day, as I had to go with an Area Manager to terminate a Manager in his region. But we made the best of it. We talked about my "ear infection", and he gave me tips on using mineral oil to relieve it. I began to notice that it was very difficult to hear anything in a room where there were several conversations or a buzz of noise - we met at a Starbucks and I found it almost impossible to follow our conversation in that atmosphere.
Overall, the day was uneventful as far as the ear... still deaf and ringing at the end of the day.
Day 3 - Saturday, July 25
This was the day of my colleague Bridget's wedding celebration. I was looking forward to going, meeting her husband Chris, and her brother from the West. He's also in HR, and I'm such a network-aholic, I was excited to meet him. All morning, I bustled around, cleaning the house, then showering and getting ready for the wedding. By 1:30 I was all ready and sat down to relax until my friend and date, Scott, arrived at 2.
By 1:45, I was extremely dizzy. I found myself laying on the couch, trying to keep up with the room spinning. When Scott arrived, that's where I was. I was still determined that I would feel better though, and be able to go to the wedding. I sat up, and we decided we'd wait it out for a half hour or so and see how I was.
About an hour and a half later, I felt a little better. I was able to walk around, a little unbalanced, but not so bad. We decided to get in the car and try to get to Toronto for the wedding. There was a terrible storm, though, and I didn't feel well as we were driving in such limited visibility, so we stopped in Burlington.
I never made it to the wedding (Sorry Bridget!). I was able to eat something, have a glass of wine and try to relax. We sat at my place and watched a movie, and then Scott went home relatively early. I went straight to bed and crashed almost instantly.
The next thing I knew, it was around 1 am and the room was spinning and I was definitely going to throw up. I stumbled to the bathroom and ended up spending the night laying on the floor, too sick to get a blanket or pillow, so using a crumpled bathmat to put my head on, and throwing up every few hours.
Day 4 - Sunday, July 26
Finally, around 7:45 am, I had my last hurling experience... it really was like hurling - completely uncontrollable wretching... yuck. I found that if I laid on my side in bed, I was ok - it was when I moved, or laid on my back that the room spun uncontrollably.
I called my mom as soon as I felt it wasn't too early - it's amazing how no matter how old you get, you go straight to your mom when you're in need. As soon as she picked up the phone I asked her to come down to my house. I told her I'd been sick and dizzy and I though I might have to go to the hospital again. She came right away. (Thanks mom!)
We called my Doctor's office and ended up getting a hold of an on-call Doctor through a unique Tele-Health number they had. I wish I could remember his name - he was quite thorough on the phone, asking many questions and ended up telling me that it sounded like I had Meniere's disease. He said I needed to see a specialist and that the fastest way to do so would be through emergency at McMaster. As soon as we hung up, my mom and I headed there.
I am a little foggy about this day somehow - I know that my dad actually drove us to the hospital, but I don't remember him getting to my house. But in any case, my family really came together. My showed up within an hour of our arriving at Mac, so the entire Ross clan was together to support me. I needed help to walk without stumbling so my mom walked me into the Dr's office when they called my name.
The Dr seemed thorough and believable this time. He did several tests with balance and eye tracking, looked in my ears, asked lost of questions again, and then said it was Meniere's. He prescribed something called Serc (sp?) for the dizziness and said that the hearing would more than likely come back. I asked if he was a specialist and he said no, but that I didn't need one - it was Meniere's and this is what they do for it.
You really are in the hands of the Doctors in times of unknown illness... You just have to hope that they are thorough and knowledgeable enough. So I believed him. I took my medicine, went home to lay on the couch, and hoped the hearing would come back.
Meanwhile, I also started researching Meniere's Disease. I decided quickly that it wasn't something I really wanted to have.
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